The Psychology of Growth: How Mental Frameworks Can Shape Your Success
Reflecting on my life, it sometimes feels like a series of unrelated transformations. I failed out of architecture school but went on to finish my bachelor's and master's degrees three and five years later, respectively. To put it mildly, I could not handle any endurance activity growing up, and now I've finished four marathons and ran over 1,500 miles last year. I've lost 50 pounds twice in my life, and although I did it much faster than I'd recommend others doing it, those are other transformations that come to mind, too.
Although I'm two weeks into my master's in psychology program, I've recognized some mental frameworks that apply to these transformations, and in this newsletter, I'll break them down so you can learn from my successes and mistakes.
- Growth Mindset: Failing Without Fearing It
Growing up, I identified as an athlete and loved sports. However, I never really understood the concept of a growth mindset. I was always far behind my classmates in cardiovascular activities while growing up. In high school, I quit football because I was throwing up and too sore from the first practice. In college, I studied architecture due to the influence of my very successful uncle who is an architect, but I flunked out of my program after my freshman year.
Both of these moments could have been the end of the story. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset shows that setbacks only become permanent if we believe they are. People with a fixed mindset believe that intelligence, talent, or ability is predetermined. People with a growth mindset believe that effort, learning, and adaptation drive improvement. Now, I recognize that there was a shift that happened around the time my stepfather passed away when I was 19 years old.
Failing out of school didn’t mean I was incapable of academic success. It meant I had gaps to close, systems to create, and passions to find. Three years later, I had my bachelor’s degree and graduated with honors. A couple years after my bachelor's, I finished my first master’s degree.
Quitting football didn’t mean I was unathletic forever. It meant my endurance needed work. Now, I’ve run four marathons, and I am preparing for my first hybrid race – a DEKA Fit competition where I look to finish among the top in my age group.
Takeaway: Your starting point doesn’t define your endpoint. If you can see setbacks as challenges to overcome instead of signs you’re incapable, progress is inevitable.
- Identity-Based Habits: Becoming the Person You Want to Be
The biggest shifts in my life didn’t come from setting big goals. They came from shifting my identity. James Clear’s work on identity-based habits explains that lasting change happens when we stop focusing on what we want to achieve and start focusing on who we want to become.
- I didn’t just want to “get in shape.” I started acting like someone who values endurance, making running a part of my routine.
- I didn’t just want to “finish a degree.” I committed to showing up to classes, studying, and seeing myself as a student.
Behavior follows identity. The more I reinforced that I was someone who learned, trained, and improved, the more natural those actions became.
Takeaway: If you want lasting change, stop thinking about the outcome and start thinking about who you need to become to make that outcome inevitable.
- Cognitive Reframing: Turning Setbacks Into Leverage
Most people see failure as an ending. I’ve learned to see it as raw material for future success. This concept is backed by cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps people reframe negative thoughts into constructive ones.
- Instead of thinking, “I failed out of school, I’m not smart enough,” I reframed it as, “I wasn’t prepared, but I can fix that.”
- Instead of thinking, “I’m naturally bad at running,” I reframed it as, “I’ve never trained properly before; let’s see what happens if I do.”
This mental shift turns obstacles into opportunities. The same experiences that could have made me give up instead became the reason I improved.
Takeaway: Reframe struggles as stepping stones. Every failure holds information that can guide your next steps.
- The Power of Small Wins: Let Progress Build Momentum
A lot of the stuff I've talked about feels like major accomplishments, but I need to remember that they didn’t happen overnight. They happened because I focused on small, repeatable actions.
Research on the “progress principle” shows that small wins drive long-term motivation more than big goals alone.
- When I started running, I wasn’t thinking about marathons. I was just trying to run a little further than before.
- When I went back to school, I wasn’t aiming for a master’s degree yet. I just needed to do well in my next class.
- When I lost weight, I didn’t try to overhaul everything at once. I just focused on daily habits.
Takeaway: Focus on small, consistent actions instead of obsessing over big milestones. Progress compounds over time.
How You Can Apply These Mental Frameworks
I’m not extraordinary. I don’t have access to extravagant resources. I’ve just trained my brain to adapt, persist, and improve, and you can do the same.
✔ Embrace a growth mindset. See failure as feedback, not an outcome.
✔ Adopt identity-based habits. Start acting like the person you want to become.
✔ Reframe setbacks. Every struggle is data that can help you move forward.
✔ Focus on small wins. Let momentum build over time.
If you take these principles and apply them to your own life—whether in fitness, career, or personal growth—you’ll be shocked at how much you can accomplish.
Final Thoughts
I was once someone who quit things, failed classes, and didn't care all that much about my mental and physical health. Now, I’m someone who trains, learns, and adapts. The level of natural-born talent I have has remained the same, but my mindset has drastically changed over the last 12 years.
You don’t have to be gifted to succeed. You just have to build the mental frameworks and processes that allow success to come more naturally.
Stay safe, stay healthy!
Martin Foley - Founder, Architecting Wellness
